Hey, thank you for stopping by my blog :)
Yesterday, My friend lost her good friend and made a video and tell everyone her important message.
I was thinking about to leave my comment and share her video.
But I couldn't.
Because I know how my friends feel.. also I know how her friend felt.
I understand both of side.
and I am so afraid of flash back and get a trigger.
so Instead of sharing her video or leaving my comment on her post.. I decided to post here.
Because I KNOW some of YOU know what I am talking about.
or
Some of YOU are thinking about IT!
Her friend lost her own life.
I might be her.
It's easy to say " You are gonna be FINE!" or " Ask someone's help"
When he/she or YOU are IN the situation... you will think " NO! I am NOT gonna be FINE!!!!" " Who is gonna HELP ME????!!!!!"
right?
It's in middle of darkness... even strongly WISH seeing a small light...
You can't see that..
Even you tried...
Usually.. person who is IN the middle of that situation.. doesn't start " HEY! I am thinking about giving up myself!!... but I may or not.. what do you think? :) "
or " Hey.. I need a HELP"
more likely... start " hi... how are you doing? I am just wondering. just say hi" or " would you like to come over have a coffee or something???"
They will ask you something very general...
They don't think the person is thinking about "IT" at all.. so they will reply " well.. yea.. ok.. just let me know when" or " so sorry.. I can't do right now - I will let you know" or.. " Oh Yes.. we will have fun!! we need to set up date soon!! "( and never happened )
It's gonna HIT YOU right?
I chose to isolate from other people... but inside of me.. I REALLY NEEDED SOMEONE!!
I tried to avoid contact anyone.. even my family was around.. I was HARD to be there..
From Other people , " if you are not telling me, I never know!! come one girly!!"
so have very big gap in between.
Both side right!! nothing wrong!!
but I am gonna telling YOU.
My heart is aching RIGHT NOW just writing this.. I am trying to not cry right now!!
I am trying hard to REFUSE to go back !!!
Oh hell no!! I don't want go BACK again....
listen... You can go through this.. I don't know you.. and you don't know me...
but Believe me.. YOU CAN!!! You can SEE a LIGHT.
You already have LIGHT just can't see it right now.
You are beautiful inside that's why you are suffering.
Those suffers make you wiser, smarter, stronger and beautiful more than anyone else.
I remind you one more time.. You are WORTH to CHANGE IT!!
You can have POWER to CHANGE it yourself!! you may need someone to cheer you up.. Grab someone!! if they don't or can't ... tell ME.
My English is not perfect.. but I listen to you.. :) I think about you :) I smile for you :) I cry with you :) I hug you.. I KISS YOU.. what?? no thank you for that one.. OK ;)
but I will do.. in person or in virtually :)
Think and feel You are gonna see your LIGHT!!! Desire it!!
and
Bring self UP!!! SMILE yourself..
just show your smile to Yourself.. go to bathroom.. and smile :)
do you want me to tickle you? ;)
You may not like first.. keep trying..
Start feel anything.. Blue sky.. fresh air... green tree.. pet your pet!! hug your daughter or son, anything makes you feel comfortable or better.
keep going a little by little!!!
Start 10 minutes breath in & out in the morning .
or 10 minutes light exercise.. or stretching.
Promise??
You are not ALONE!!!! Follow me ;)
I started my journey... I feel more confidence myself.. and feel better.
Barely happens back then... I had NEVER thought those days are back!!
I couldn't even think of going outside without fear.
I couldn't even think of getting OUT that situation.
I still have lots of issue.. not solve.. but at least.. I have POWER.
I am right behind you.. or front of you!
You are WORTH. You have POWER to go through it!!
Your LIGHT is ALWAYS inside of YOU.. even You can NOT see right now from you.
Love,